What is that dream that you wanted to chase?
Sometime in the later part of 2013, I felt drained and too exhausted with my job. Coincidentally, I was also ready to break up with Beijing.
For most of my friends, they thought I already had my dream job, being promoted from my kindergarten teaching job, as I became the Teacher Trainer to all our Chinese and foreign teachers around China.
The perks of the job did give me the chance to travel and see different parts of China, every weekend for free...
Treated to authentic Chinese regional dishes that their city can offer...
Stayed in fancy hotel rooms...
Most importantly, observed & mentored teachers
on how to teach our children of today!
Yet, despite having all those privileges I still had the need to walk away from it all. I felt stuck and caged. I heard these same complaints from other friends. Like me, they too, need to escape from 9-5 job and should be doing something more meaningful. Or explore, or be more creative, or be more adventurous. Blah. Blah. Blah.
In my case, I do feel that I'm doing something very meaningful...
I LOVE TEACHING. Yes, I do! It's in my veins and genes! ;)
But I don't love being in Beijing (or in China) anymore.
That was my problem. And in my defense, I'm not the only expat who lived in Beijing that shares that same exact sentiment. Yes, go ahead, ask them...
Thus, I left Beijing in June 2014, after having lived in a country and city that adopted me for exactly eight years. Bound to never-neverland!
Leaving China didn't mean I am settling back home in the Philippines. I saw it as a perfect opportunity to brave the world of unemployment and explore the endless options in life-- that many of us failed to see because we are so contained in a box of fears...
Fears to fail. Fears to leave a job that gives us financial stability. Fears of not being able to live up to our countless of responsibilities (i.e house bills, family, & children). Fears of what others would think about us, if our decision will end up as the biggest mistake we'll ever do.
Yes, it was my decision to walk away from my contained box. It was my decision to take such HUGE risk. And this is pretty much what sums up MY DREAM, after I left Beijing for almost two years now...
"I'm not sure what I'll do, but-- well, I want to go places and see people. I want my mind to grow. I want to live where things happen on a big scale."
Have I regretted that decision? Nope. Because I've seen places. I've seen people. My mind grew and learned so much, that I don't think I have learned in school and textbooks. And yes, I've lived where things happen on a big scale!
If there's anything I wanted to share with you as a GREAT LESSON from this taking-risks journey (with Frenchie as well) is that:
Our life is more liberating and awesome when we genuinely live a life we always wanted... not the kind of life that our society expects of us to live or other's dream for us.
This is the kind of life I want...to see more of the world, it's people, and the amazing lessons I will learn along the journey (and share them with you through this blog). And having the freedom to do it, is really pure happiness!
But of course, I would be lying if it wasn't hard. It was hard and difficult. The challenge was really to make it work. Yet somehow, somewhere in between the moments of my fears, I recognized a very certain word...courage.
I walked the unknown path for almost a year. I didn't know if I was really doing the right thing. I juggled working on jobs that I didn't love to do, but I'm grateful that I did. I lived in a country that I didn't embrace completely because of its 'cold' culture. I met people that treated me as if I didn't exist just because they got more privilege than me. I learned so much about my strength as a person and my capabilities with human tasks. And in all of these, I never once doubted myself.
I have always this truest desire and gut feeling that I can do it. Therefore, I WILL DO IT!
The thing about taking risk is that, you have to walk the path of focus, direction, and determination. You have to genuinely tell yourself that no matter how hard the challenges will come your way--- you need to get to your ultimate goal.
If you'll ask me if there's a right time of taking risk or taking that leap of faith? Honestly, I don't know. But then again, if not now...when?!
And as my circle of life goes on, after exactly a year of leaving China, I moved to country number 4, in continent number 3--- after my brief stay in the US. Because, my ultimate goal was to live and work in Brazil! 😘